Am I being Authentic?

Last Saturday I had an epiphany in the shower (because that’s where all my great epiphanies come from) and what I had realize is why I’m swamped in a sea of work’s in progress. I can usually get through projects and my own designs pretty quick. Back in July, I released a pattern every other week; The Elm Tree Slouch and The Essentials Bag patterns. & before that I released theHandy Dandy coin bag, the Pumpknit and Garter Stitch Bow Tie patterns. I also finished a 3 blankets, a cardigan, and a skirt all in the span of two months, (that’s a lot for me. One time it took me a whole month to finish a hat design that I ended up frogging.) But sometimes some of the projects I work on seems to be sort of bleh. I start them and they just fall flat; I never finish them. For the longest time I chalked it up to, “Well I guess my creative juices just aren’t flowing right now. Guess I better take a break.” But even after break I couldn’t find myself motivated enough to continue with that project. Then the negative thoughts would come in, “I’m a horrible maker. So and so had no problems making something like this. Maybe the maker life isn’t for me. Who am I to think that I was good enough to make this or do that?” Yea I know, pretty depressing right? I always thought that if the maker community was doing then I, as a part of the community, should be doing it too and it should come just as easily to me as it does to others. I couldn’t have been more wrong. One of my failed projects was a Crop Top that everyone loved. I wasn’t truly in love with it though & I guess that’s why it never got the rough draft done. As the ‘rough draft’ post says, 3 designs later I was no closer to completing the top.

I finally realized last Saturday, while I was in the shower that I don’t have to do what everyone else is doing. I don’t have to feel pressured about fall or markets because that isn’t something relevant to to me or where I live; Florida; disclaimer some Floridians do make winter wear. & that knitting and crocheting has lots of different branches to them. What I mean by that is not everything that falls under those two categories are your niche. Yes, creating with yarn is definitely a niche but what do you like to make? What types of yarn do you like to use? I know some people who use nothing but chunky yarn and others who love finger weight yarn. There’s a maker who does nothing but hats allday and another who loves making blankets. What area of the maker life is calling to you? I know crop tops aren’t for me but lace hats are. & I’m slowly finding what I love and hate to make.

Since, OMK isn’t my sole income I can play around and try different things rather than trying to sell, sell, sell. I am doing this for fun and for yarn money. I don’t know where this business endeavor is going to take me but I know I’m going to enjoy myself and not always be looking at what others are doing & I will NEVER compare myself to anyone else, even if they started the same time as I did. My walk isn’t their walk. My life isn’t their life. “Comparison is the killer of joy” (Thomas Edison) and I want to keep my joy alive and well for years to come. Because life’s too short for crappy projects that I don’t get excited to work on. What would be the point of me having a maker life if it isn’t making me happy? Anywho I’ve rambled for long enough; my point was, while it’s good to be inspired by other makers don’t be feeling like you have to do everything that they’re doing. Take you time, pace yourself, be patient with yourself, and remember to breathe. Thanks for reading and remember, “Have fun with it,” Jimmy Neutron’s Dad.

Side note: This was basically a pep talk to myself because I keep allowing myself to be overwhelmed by what I see as a lack of progress. Everyone advances differently. “March to the beat of your own drum,” as they say.

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